Trauma
What is it?
Trauma is used in a lot of ways.
In the therapy world, when we talk about trauma we refer to experiences that are so emotionally overwhelming, our brain shuts down and enters “survival mode”. In this mode, our brain and body limit their ability to function in order to prioritize doing what it needs to help us survive.
After the traumatic event has passed, things that remind us of that event or make our brain think it might be happening again can cause an extreme emotional reaction (commonly called the fight, flight, freeze, fawn response).
In this state, people tend to struggle to communicate, can become emotionally withdrawn, can engage in aggressive or violent forms of behavior, or can avoid conversations or topics that their partner(s) want to discuss.
How does it Impact Relationships?
Brains that have experienced trauma tend to be very sensitive and can find themselves overwhelmed quickly and often. In relationships, this means that folks who have experienced trauma can react in ways that are impulsive, confusing, hurtful, or avoidant.
Some partners of people who have experienced trauma report feeling like their partner is difficult to talk to, is hard to get to know, that they don’t feel close to them, or that they never know what will set them off.
People with trauma in their background may have trouble remembering things, feeling connected to their bodies or their pasts, and may struggle with sex or having fun in general.
How can Therapy Help?
Trauma therapy can help to create new ways of interacting with past experiences that were overwhelming as well as the moment to moment emotions that can be generated in every day life.
By understanding how trauma works, new strategies can be developed which help the person who is impacted by trauma feel more in control of their experiences and of their behavior.
Partners of those who have experienced trauma can learn new ways of helping to support their partner in order to develop a deeper, safer, and more trusting emotional atmosphere that all partners will benefit from.
